A Moment in Her Presence
by Joan Powers
Summary: Grissom and Sara are finally going on their first date. But why is she more nervous than he is? Sequel to Come On, I'll Drive You Home
1. Default Chapter

Hi! This story is a continuation of my first story, "Come On, I'll Drive You Home" (located at ). Thanks again to Tracy for her greatly appreciated beta work. Comments, as always, are welcome.

"A Moment in Her Presence"

By Joan Powers

Setting: post "Bloodlines"

Type: G/S romance

Rating: "R"

Summary: Grissom and Sara are finally going on their first date. But why is she more nervous than he is?

Sara stared at the clothes in her closet, trying to decide what to wear. She reached for a reveling low-cut black dress, and then changed her mind.

_Too formal, I don't want to scare him off._

Maybe black pants with a sexy lace top? The outfit was somewhat more subtle, but still getting the message across. Or how about a miniskirt? She still had one or two cute ones and her legs looked great.

No, it's still too much for him. I don't want him to feel uncomfortable.

Actually she could probably wear regular work clothes and Grissom wouldn't care. If he didn't think she was attractive, he wouldn't have kissed her in the dark while she reeked of beer and her face was covered with tears. However, she wanted to make the evening special, though not be so different that things became awkward. She wasn't sure when Grissom's last foray into the dating world had been.

The black pants with the pink print top; that used to be one of her favorite outfits. That would be a good choice. It was flattering, still she felt comfortable in it. The black pants fit her snuggly, her legs looked long and sexy in them. And the colors of the bold print top nicely complemented her ruby red nail polish.

She got dressed then fixed her makeup and her hair. As she finished, she checked the clock. Damn, she still had plenty of time. She walked into her living room and turned on the TV, then sank into the couch and absently flipped through channels. Normally she preferred reading to television but she'd been having trouble concentrating these days.

This had been a hard week, a challenging week. And it wasn't over yet. Grissom had talked her into taking the week off and using the time for some intensive counseling sessions to discuss her past rape and current alcohol problems. It hadn't been fun.

On her first day home, she was pleased to clean up her apartment and get rid of all the alcohol. She was optimistic, she felt better. She even felt as if she'd accomplished something.

However she still wanted to have a drink, she hated that she felt that way. Her counselor had told her that it would take a while to deal with these emotions. She'd been using alcohol for so long to suppress her feelings, now that she was actually experiencing them full force, it was daunting, almost over whelming. Her counselor kept telling her that she had to "work through her problems," whatever that meant.

In the first five sessions, within a three-day period, she'd mainly discussed her feelings about her job and the cases at work which had greatly disturbed her. Although her counselor was fully aware of it, they hadn't yet discussed the rape in detail. She pointed out that Sara defined herself as a man does, primarily through success at her job rather than by her relationships. So when things weren't going well at work, she got extremely depressed.

Although, to be honest, the counselor might draw a different conclusion once they spoke about Grissom. Sara was fully aware that his rejection of her advances had catalyzed her downward spiral.

Still, she felt her problems with Grissom were resolving quite nicely. Although they hadn't had their date yet, nor had she seen him since the fateful night he drove her home, he hadn't been a stranger. He called her everyday, sometimes at odd hours, but he called. He was aware that she was going through a difficult time and he wanted to help her. Oddly enough, he seemed committed; she didn't get the feeling that he was going to bolt in fear again. Especially since he'd initiated most of their conversations.

As thrilled as she was that they actually had a relationship that was finally moving forward, she had some lingering doubts that she needed to discuss with him. She wasn't sure if she should wait until their relationship was stronger, or tell him tonight so they would start on the right footing. She didn't want to spoil the mood for the evening; she'd been fantasizing about this for years. She wanted everything to be perfect.

If only she could have a drink to calm her nerves, just one drink. She'd expressed herself so eloquently, hah, no, blatantly that night when she told Gil that she loved him. She hadn't been worried about the consequences of her actions and words. And she'd felt as if she'd nothing to lose. That wasn't true now.

Grissom was right; it's hard to say how you feel when you don't know how the other person will take it.

The doorbell rang, interrupting her thoughts. She checked the clock; it was still too early for Grissom. She rose to answer it.

"Delivery for a Miss Sara Sidle," a young man handed over a clipboard. "Sign here please."

After Sara complied, the young man picked up a vase filled with a dozen red roses, "Where would you like me to put this?"

She smiled

_For all his bugs and hamburger experiments, this man has romantic potential._

"I'll take them, thanks."

After placing the vase on the coffee table so her flowers were in her direct line of vision, she buried her face in them, enjoying their heavenly aroma. She was surprised; this choice didn't seem characteristic of the man she knew. Then again, perhaps since he was eager to impress her, he must've asked the florist for advice. She noticed there was a card. It read:

Sara,

"A Moment in Her Presence"

By Anonymous

My life seemed so full and rich.

Then she came along,

with the light of her love

and the warmth of her smile

shinning like the sun.

She showed me that I'd been fooling myself.

What I thought was light, was actually darkness.

What I took for warmth, was ice cold.

What I felt had meaning, was only emptiness.

How could I bear to be in her presence,

knowing the coldness that awaited me afterwards?

My life would be unbearable,

How could I live with myself?

Yet to be without her is not to live at all.

So I believe it's better to spend even a moment

in the warmth of her presence

than to be forever in the darkness.

I want to walk into the warmth of the sun.

Can't wait to see you tonight.

Love,

Gil

Wow, she was stunned. Tears almost came to her eyes; it was the poem he'd referred to a few nights ago in his SUV, which described some of his fears and doubts about getting involved with her. Yet, she'd turned the tables on him by reminding him how it ended. It was their story, though she hoped it would last much longer than a moment. How Grissom-like to use someone else's words to express himself. She was surprised that he'd selected something so obscure yet so personal

And that token 'love' wasn't a token at all when Grissom was involved. Even the use of his first name implied a higher level of intimacy, which would be uncharacteristic for him. She felt tingly inside just thinking about him, she was dying to touch him again.

She was also more than a little nervous.

Finally, the doorbell rang. Her heart raced as she opened the door to admit Grissom.

"Hi" he said, smiling at her. He looked handsome, wearing a dark blue button-down shirt with gray slacks, along with a black jacket.

"Hi "she shyly replied. She had to remind herself to keep breathing normally.

And you were worried about him being nervous? 

After she closed the door, Grissom confidently stepped towards her and kissed her, full on the mouth. It was nice. Sara began to relax as she enjoyed his kiss and wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders while feeling his body up against hers. He felt wonderful, he even smelled good.

Do we really have to eat first? 

A moment later, he pulled back to say, "How are you?"

She replied, a little too fast, "Okay, kinda bored. Can't wait to get back to work." She leaned closer against him as she said, "I'm really glad to see you."

He smiled then walked into her living room, "I see you got the flowers."

"They're beautiful. Thanks." She felt like a total geek. She was so excited and nervous she didn't know what to do. "The poem was a nice touch."

"Thanks. It seemed appropriate." Grissom explained. He reached into his jacket pocket to remove a small brown paper bag. Somewhat awkwardly he handed it to Sara, "I believe..." he cleared his throat, "you asked me to bring...these."

She peaked inside. The hint of color on her cheeks became deeper. Just as she'd requested, he brought lots of condoms. "Let me put these where we'll have easy access later." She dashed into her bedroom.

Grissom called after her, "Where do you want to go for dinner?"

"How about Chinese?"

"So what does your counselor recommend?" Grissom asked as he ate his hot and sour soup.

"Pretty much the same things you've mentioned in the past. Get some outside interests. Cultivate more friendships, a better support group. Stuff like that." Sara answered. Her wonton soup was helping her relax a bit. Maybe she had been hungry.

"Any ideas?" he asked.

"I don't know. I've always been an avid reader. I guess I could investigate a new area. Or maybe I'll try something active, like hiking. Think you'd want to join me?"

He considered it, "Sure, that might be fun." He liked the outdoors. And if he was with Sara, he could justify not being in the lab.

He reached for her hand as they waited for the rest of their food to arrive. As their fingers intertwined, a shiver of excitement filled her body. She felt her face become flushed.

_What is wrong with me? I feel like a teenager on a first date_, t_his is embarrassing._

Her body felt like it was short-circuiting. Fortunately, Grissom had either not noticed her awkwardness or he was being uncharacteristically diplomatic.

"What about the alcohol?"

Damn, he would ask about that.

At least it was a good distraction from her raging hormones.

She explained, "I'm clean, but it's not as easy as I thought it would be. My counselor says that when you drink you're essentially putting off or postponing your feelings. Now they're all rushing back and it's a bit scary." That was an understatement.

He squeezed her hand, "I can imagine. Anything I can help you with?"

Yes.

She was afraid he'd think less of her. His opinion of her as a professional was also near and dear to her heart. "Um, do you think...would you mind if we discussed some of the cases when they bother me? Not at the office, of course. You wouldn't think I was too unprofessional?"

"Of course not." He affirmed. "Believe me, everyone has cases that get to them."

"What about you?" she asked.

"Sure, but I just try not to think about them," Grissom explained.

"Doesn't that technique backfire sometimes?" She smirked, knowing that this was one of his unsuccessful ways of coping with his attraction to her.

Knowing he was caught, he met her brown eyes and guiltily grinned, "Sometimes."

Their main course arrived, saving Grissom from further embarrassment.

End part 1/3


	2. Chap 2

"A Moment in Her Presence" Part 2/3

By Joan Powers

As they left the restaurant, Sara noticed a park across the street. She hated the idea of possibly spoiling their first date, but conflicting emotions were overpowering her. She had to talk to him, tonight. As much as she was desperately aching to dash back to her apartment and have this man touch every inch of her body, she couldn't do it without getting some answers from him first.

"Gil, can we go for a walk? I need to talk with you about some things"

"Sure," he agreed.

They crossed the street and began to walk along a concrete path. Grissom noticed a bench, "You want to sit down?" He'd caught on that something more serious was on her mind.

"That's a good idea."

The two sat on the park bench. Sara took several breaths trying to calm down and organize her thoughts, while Gil looked at her with concern.

"What's wrong?"

This is so ridiculous.

She was flustered, yet she had to say it. If she couldn't be honest with him, then it wasn't a relationship worth pursuing. She confessed, "This is so stupid. How come I'm so nervous and you're not?"

To her surprise, he responded, "Who says I'm not nervous?"

"You don't seem it to me."

He assured her, "Sara, I have some advantages over you. You're going through a lot right now. Cut yourself a break. Also, when you tell a man that you're head over heals in love with him despite the fact that he's acted like a complete idiot, it tends to do something for his confidence."

There it is. How can I tell him what I need without hurting his feelings? 

He moved closer to her, to put his arm around her shoulder. He gazed into her eyes and explained, "Sara, you don't always have to be strong. I want to be strong for you. I want to go through this with you."

His words moved her, "Thanks. I'm just used to being on my own. I'd hate to come to depend on someone and then be in trouble when they've moved on."

"This sounds familiar. But isn't it my line?" he half-grinned.

She laughed at herself. "Yeah." But it led into another of her concerns. "What do you want out of this relationship Gil?" Before he could weasel his way out it, she quickly added, "I need to hear from you first."

He thought for a moment about how to express himself, "I want it all. I want to work with you, eat with you, and sleep with you. I want you to be the first person I see when I wake up and the last person I see when I go to sleep. I want you to be part of my life."

Once Sara had told him that she loved him, despite his flaws, it removed his paralyzing fear of being involved with her. Now he couldn't imagine his life ever being complete without her.

"Not just work or sex?"

"Those are important parts, but no, not just those things." Hoping that he wasn't offending her, he told her exactly how he felt. "Call me old fashioned but I want a serious committed long-term relationship."

She smiled, "Good, 'cause that's what I want too."

They both visibly relaxed.

He laughed. "No fair, that was easy for you."

"Hey, I've taken a lot of abuse from you." She was half-joking but it came out more caustic than she intended. She could see it in his expression; she'd hurt him. She rushed to say, "I'm sorry." She reached for his hands.

"No, it's okay. I deserved that." He took a breath; he felt he had to say something that was hard for him. He tenderly squeezed her hands and looked into her eyes. His voice even trembled some, "Sara, I feel terrible about the way I've treated you over the past. Although I was scared it doesn't justify the things I've done to you. I've been such a complete idiot that I'm amazed that you can love me."

Even though she agreed with some of what he said, Sara wanted to reassure him, she hated to see him hurting. She tried to interrupt him, but he wouldn't let her.

His voice was husky with emotion. "It's going take some time for you to completely trust me and I understand that. I love you Sara, I'm so sorry that I've hurt you so badly. Can you forgive me?"

Yes. That's it. That's what I needed.

At that moment, any vestige of anger or hurt feelings residing in her melted away. "All you had to do was ask." She whispered to him as she leaned forward to kiss him.

He eagerly returned her kiss, yet he pulled away before it became more passionate. He sensed that she had more to deal with. "What else is on your mind?"

Sara was disappointed that Grissom broke off their kiss, yet he was right.

She wasn't sure how to broach this. She knew it was a sensitive topic for him. "Um...Are you going to tell the others at work about us?"

He was uncomfortable, "I'm not sure how to handle that. I don't particularly like other people knowing my private business and I don't want anyone to think that I'm playing favorites..."

Sara was firm, "I know those things are hard for you but I don't want to feel like I'm some dirty little secret. I don't want to act or feel as if I should be ashamed of what we're doing. I love you GilZ. We don't have to flaunt it; we're both professionals and our reputations are important to us. I don't think either of us is planning to have sex in the break room or anything like that."

He smirked, "Boy that's a colorful image"

"Oh, having sex in the break room? Yeah," she grinned. It was arousing. Sex on a park bench sounded even better. Yet, she was getting distracted.

"I don't mind being discrete but I'm not going to lie about our relationship. And I don't want to hide it, either. If someone asks if we're dating, I'm telling the truth. If we want to leave the building together, I'm going to your office to get you. I'm not going to wait around until no one else is nearby as if I was doing something wrong. Or meet you in some secret meeting place like the parking lot. We have nothing to hide. If Catherine or someone else is in your office, I'm coming in anyway. And we're going out of the building _together_. Can you handle that?"

More seriously, Grissom confessed, "I'm going to need your help with this Sara. I've never felt comfortable with this kind of stuff. I don't get people."

She chuckled affectionately, "You can handle it, and you've faced worse. We'll get teased some and then life will be normal again, you'll see. I think most people will be very happy for us. Besides, don't you think they've already noticed that our relationship has never been strictly professional?"

She grinned as she remembered one of Warrick's past comments to her.

You just don't other women in his life.

Feeling much better, her body was starting to shriek that it was time for them to get back to her apartment. "You want to go to my place?" she asked with some urgency.

He grinned shyly, knowing what she had in mind. "Yes."

Sara stood up but Grissom wasn't moving yet.

_What now? I didn't think there was anything left to discuss._

She impatiently glanced towards him. Something just occurred to him; his expression had become more thoughtful so she sank back down.

He paused to clean his glasses then he tried to explain. "There's just one thing, which I know you don't want to talk about. And you don't have to. But considering what we're thinking about doing, I may need your help."

It was as if a bucket of ice-cold water had been poured over her head.

_The rape. Why'd he have to remind me? Everything was going so well. That's right, I don't want to talk about it._

She felt herself become tense as her defensive mechanisms automatically kicked in.

Yet, it touched her that he was acknowledging that sex might present some challenges for her. Since the assault had occurred several years ago, she'd made love since then. However, it hadn't been very good. Waves of discomfort would hit her at odd times; she'd valiantly tried to ignore them. It didn't work very well. Hopefully things would be different with Gil since they loved each other

She wasn't sure what to say. "It's hard to explain, I don't fully understand it myself."

"Have you talked to your counselor about it?" he asked with concern.

"Not yet. She wants me to tell her about the whole event. Re-live it." She shuddered.

Somewhat sternly he asked, "Isn't that part of recovery?"

"I guess. But I don't want to do it."

She didn't want to think about the rape, more or less talk about it with another human being. Unfortunately, her counselor was becoming more and more insistent, encouraging her to share the details of the experience even before she returned to work next week.

Sara frowned as she thought about it, another one of her burdens to tackle. She sighed, she felt as if she was dealing with so many issues at once. Although she was thrilled with the way their relationship was blossoming, that she and Gil were opening up and growing closer to one another; progress with her other problems seemed so limited. She felt as if she were chipping away at an enormous rock with a butter knife.

As Grissom watched her emotions play across her face, he wondered how he could help her. An idea came to him, he wasn't sure if he was on the right track, but he decided to test it out.

"Would you like me to go with you? When you have to talk about it?" he offered tentatively.

Sara was touched by his offer. However, she wasn't sure if she wanted to accept it or not. Up to that point, she knew she'd eventually cave in to her counselor's demands to discuss the details of the rape. She had to do it for her own peace of mind. Yet, she wasn't sure if she wanted Grissom to know.

Although she knew she shouldn't feel ashamed, it wasn't her fault, she still felt as if there was something she could've done to avoid the situation. Talking about it would be excruciatingly painful and extremely difficult especially since she'd suppressed the memory for so many years. It would be yet another humiliating experience.

Still Grissom had recently seen her drunk and crying her eyes out. He'd seen her when she was down and he loved her anyway. What was it that he said tonight, 'I want to be strong for you". His love and support would be greatly needed and appreciated.

But would it be selfish of me to put him through such an experience? 

"That would be wonderful to have you there. But it's not going to be pretty, you know that. I'd hate for you to have to go through that." Sara explained.

Grissom responded a little sharply, "Do you honestly think if I don't know the details that it won't bother me? That I can pretend it didn't happen? It already bothers me and to be honest, I don't know how I'll handle it when you do tell me. But I love you Sara, I need to know your nightmares so I can help you face them."

"Okay." She grinned weakly, feeling somewhat encouraged. "Better bring a spare shirt," she joked. Last time, she'd cried so much that his shirt was soaked.

"Just give me some advance warning so I can try to arrange my schedule." He chuckled to himself, as if he had much control over the hectic pace of his job.

Another thought occurred to him, "Sara, do you need to do this before we make love?" Not that he especially wanted to wait, but he wanted it to be right for both of them.

She considered his statement briefly.

Ok Sara, maybe you should try being honest about your feelings since denying them hasn't worked.

She gave it her best effort. "No. I think I just need to take it slow. And if I start feeling weird, I'll tell you and we can deal with it."

Feeling relieved and a little tired, she leaned her head against his shoulder as he put his arm around her. She closed her eyes; she could feel the rise and fall of his chest, which was comforting. Although he claimed he didn't wear any cologne, Grissom did have his own distinct fragrance, which she breathed in deeply. It was magnificent to be so close to him, she'd longed for this for ages it seemed. The two sat quietly, enjoying one another's presence.

Later, as they drove towards her apartment, Sara's spirits were improving. Even talking about the rape had been difficult, it triggered a lot of negative emotions. Yet, she was glad that Grissom was aware of her potential difficulties, and that he cared enough to ask. Cuddling with him on the park bench had soothed her, calmed her down.

In the park, as they'd sat together, Grissom had held her hand for a while. Then he'd become bolder, stroking her hair then tracing the outline of her check bone with his fingertips. When he'd started gently kissing her neck, working his way up to her lips, they'd both realized that it was time to return to Sara's apartment.

Although their serious discussion hadn't been the romantic evening that Sara had envisioned, it was a relief for her that she'd been able to address those issues with Grissom. It made a big difference for her peace of mind. She felt a tiny bit lighter, as if a portion of the crushing burden of her problems had been lifted. Perhaps this was part of what her counselor considered "working out her problems".

She massaged Grissom's out stretched palm with her thumb as their fingers intertwined. Throughout the evening, he seemed to need to touch her as much as possible, as if to reassure himself that she was still there or even to assert his territorial rights that she was finally his. She had no complaints because she was enjoying it as much as he was. She was looking forward to more.

As he stopped at a red light, she leaned over to whisper suggestively, "Have I told you that I love the beard? It's really sexy."

Strangely enough, his knuckles gripped the steering wheel tighter; he seemed tense

"You okay?" she checked.

With warm cheeks, he confessed, "Yeah, I'm just a little distracted. It's hard to concentrate on driving when you say things like that. I want to get us back in one piece."

They both laughed.

For the first time during the course of the evening, he seemed more nervous than her. "Sara, you realize that it's been a long time since I've done this."

She wasn't bothered in the least, "I'm sure you'll do just fine. Gil, I love you and just being with you, being close to you is amazing. No matter what happens between us, tonight will always be special because I'm with you."

He squeezed her hand, feeling reassured.

While Grissom valiantly attempted to focus his attention on his driving, Sara couldn't resist teasing him some more, especially after his obvious reaction. So she loosened her safety belt in order to lean over to playfully blow into his ear.

"Sara!"

End of part 2/3


	3. Chap 3

"A Moment in Her Presence" Part 3/3

By Joan Powers

Despite Sara's distractions, they managed to arrive safely at her apartment. The front door was barely shut before Grissom and Sara were in each other's arms.

Gazing into each other's eyes, Sara asked, "You're really here? It's not a dream?" She grasped his forearm tighter with her fingers as if to reassure herself.

Grissom laughed softly, he could fully relate to what she was saying. He too had dreamed many nights of holding her.

"Sorry it took me so long." He replied gently as he leaned closer to kiss her forehead.

She smiled, "I remember the last time you did that, after we solved that case back in 'Frisco."

It'd been an evening charged with energy, the thrill of solving a difficult case and the excitement of spending time with a friend. And surprisingly the realization that their friendship could potentially develop into something even more. They'd spent hours over dinner, talking about everything – rehashing the case, of course, but lots of other stuff too, entomology, criminology, and some other non-work related issues as well.

Sara was convinced that they were going to sleep together that night, but Grissom had chickened out last minute, simply kissing her on the forehead and saying goodbye, leaving her confused, standing in her apartment doorway.

For the first time, he explained, "It was a special evening. But I wasn't ready. It was too much, too fast. I'm not a spur of the moment guy. You should know that."

As excited as he'd been, he rapidly became afraid that a romantic relationship wouldn't last. He didn't want to lose her friendship for a few nights of sex. At that time he was also consumed by his burgeoning career in criminology, which would've be severely hampered by a long distance romance. He wasn't prepared to make any sacrifices that a relationship might demand.

"But you were interested." She teased him as she kissed the base of his neck.

He moaned softly. He didn't try to get out it, "I never denied that." A bit defensively he claimed, "I asked you to visit L.A. a few times but you never came. Why? What was going on?"

She shrugged as she continued to kiss her way up his neck, "Just playing hard to get, I guess." At the time, she'd had concerns similar to his; she was also wrapped up in her own career advancement. She wasn't ready for a long-term relationship either. And she'd felt slighted when he didn't pursue her more actively.

"And who invited whom to Vegas?" Grissom asked, as he slowly untucked her shirt so he could span her bare back with his palms.

His hands felt warm against her, she pressed herself closer to him as she followed suit, yanking his shirttails out of his pants and starting to unbutton his shirt. "You did."

He trembled as Sara kissed his exposed chest. "Guess I did something right. Why'd you come?"

She'd managed to undo all of his buttons so she helped him remove his shirt. Her hands roved over his muscular chest as she spoke, "I wanted to work with the best, the number two lab in the nation."

It 'd been good for a while. She enjoyed learning from him; she'd always admired him as a teacher. He was the ideal mentor, providing guidance yet challenging her to take the lead when she saw fit. She also loved becoming better acquainted with him, not an easy task when it came to Grissom. As they'd casually flirted with one another, she'd felt drawn to him in new ways.

He reached for her bra strap and fumbled with it. "It was good, wasn't it?"

"I guess I messed it up." Sara said, as she reached around and undid it for him. Maybe if she hadn't pushed the issue, he would've eventually made a move for her.

He explained, "It wasn't you, it was me. You didn't read me wrong, I was always interested. I was also scared stiff." As his hands began to cup her breasts, she began to moan with pleasure. His voice became husky with desire, "I missed you so much this past year, it was awful. For the first time in my life, the job alone wasn't enough. I need you."

Passion was rising rapidly in both of them; their breathing became more rapid as their mouths met in a kiss. Almost immediately, their lips parted and their tongues explored one another's mouths. Sara's hands continued to caress Grissom's chest while his hands stroked her breasts. After a few minutes, the two broke off to rise for air.

"You okay so far?" he gasped.

She assured him, "Yeah, I'll let you know. Just don't make any sudden moves. You want to go to my bedroom?"

He agreed. The two kicked off their shoes along the way. Her bedroom looked like a different place than Grissom had last visited. All the clothes were properly hung and organized. The bed was neatly made with matching pillows and comforter. She'd even cleaned off her dresser and there wasn't a beer can in sight. Under different circumstances, Grissom's keen eye would've noticed. But he had other things on his mind now.

An odd expression came over Sara's face.

"What is it? What do you need?" He hoped to God that he could do it. He wanted her so badly; his body was aching for her. He didn't think that he could stop.

Sara wasn't sure what to do; she needed to feel in control. "Can we take off your clothes first?"

"Okay."

She loosened his belt buckle and unzipped his pants. They slid to the floor. She kissed him, hard, as she pressed her body against his. Then after she helped him remove his boxer shorts, they kissed more.

"Can you help me with my clothes?" she asked.

Grissom was so eager to touch her that he wanted to just rip her clothes right off. But that wouldn't work for her, so he clumsily helped her pull her shirt over her head. He threw her loose bra haphazardly over his shoulder.

She placed his hands on the waistband of her pants, "I want you to." So he peeled them off of her, along with her panties.

Completely naked, the two climbed on to her bed. Although fully aroused, they didn't rush; they enjoyed the feel of each other's body. Grissom explored Sara with his mouth, trailing kisses along her breasts, her stomach, working his way down to her more sensitive areas. She writhed with desire.

Suddenly, Sara froze; a wave of fear overcame her. Grissom sensed her body becoming rigid; he glanced towards her with a worried expression.

"What is it? What do you need?" he breathed. Considering the fact that it'd been years since he'd made love to a woman, it was taking all of his self-control to restrain himself. But Sara was worth it. After all of his idiotic mistakes, he wanted this to be right for her, to set the stage for their relationship as a couple.

She groaned, horribly frustrated because she wasn't certain how to remedy the problem. He rolled to her side to attempt to give her a chance to think.

As soon as Grissom was lying beside her, it occurred to her. While the feel of his naked body upon her equally unclothed one had been tantalizing and erotic, the sensation created by his weight on top of her triggered memories of being trapped and helpless, unable to move.

We can deal with this.

She quickly sat up. "I need to be on top of you."

Almost trembling with desire, Grissom complied immediately. "Sara," he moaned urgently.

She realized he couldn't hold back much longer, so she grabbed a condom from her bedside table and put it on him. As she straddled his body, her discomfort continued to dissipate. Eager to enjoy the warmth of his flesh against her, she pressed herself against the full length of him and kissed him deeply. Their contact immediately stimulated her so Sara slid herself onto Grissom and their bodies began to move in rhythm together as they kissed. Their excitement rapidly escalated as she rode him until they climaxed.

XXX

That was excellent.

Sara stretched her legs then inched her back closer to Grissom's naked body to rest securely against his chest and stomach. He held her close, draping his arm over her hip. It'd been several years since she'd enjoyed cuddling with a lover. Her heart was overflowing with emotions.

I love him. I always have, I always will. And now I know that he loves me too.

The thought filled her with joy, a sensation that was almost unfamiliar to her.

When did their bond start? As a student at Harvard, she'd admired him greatly when he visited as a guest lecturer. He was so smart yet his knowledge was broadly based. He wasn't just stuck in his area of expertise like so many other professors. He'd always impressed her and influenced her tremendously. In fact, it was his influence that most likely led her to choose forensics as her specialty, for she'd originally had different plans for her physics background.

While their potential romantic relationship had briefly sparked in San Francisco, it hadn't taken. It wasn't the right time. Still, early on, they'd established a friendship and somehow he'd always held a special place in her heart. Yet she must've fallen in love with him in Las Vegas, since even during painful and difficult circumstances, she couldn't bear to leave him.

She turned onto her other side so she could examine her sleeping lover. Somehow, he looked younger; she hadn't realized that he had so much tension in the lines on his face. It hadn't been a good year for him either. That thought gave her some satisfaction.

Unable to resist, she traced his jaw with her fingertips, then bent forward to kiss his cheek.

Grissom began to stir. "Get some sleep?" he asked groggily as he opened his eyes.

"Some." Sara typically had difficulty sleeping; she'd had the problem for years. Grissom used to tease her about it, giving her dry Entomology textbooks, which he claimed would be guaranteed to help close her eyes. Unfortunately, instead of the desired effect, she simply ended up learning more about insects.

"How are you?" she asked.

He smiled affectionately at her, "Wonderful. Was it good for you?" His blue eyes were fixed on her brown ones.

Sara took a breath. If the eyes were truly a window of the soul, she was peeking directly into Grissom's. Finally he'd let down some of his barriers, she could sense how much he loved her. She'd never felt so close to him.

Her grin become more pronounced, "Yeah, completely worth all the years of waiting. But let's not wait that long next time."

He laughed, "I agree." He put his elbow down on the mattress to boost himself up to a sitting position, as he leaned against the pillow and the headboard of the bed. Sara moved over to rest her head against his shoulder.

Grissom cleared his throat. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to go with me to a forensics conference in Virginia in a month or two. I've been invited to speak."

Sara considered it. "Sure, I've always enjoyed your lectures. You know, I used to look for them on purpose."

Somewhat sheepish, he replied, "I never really clued in but I was always thrilled to see you."

"Virginia, huh?" She was puzzled as to why that location would be attractive to him.

He explained, "Colonial Williamsburg is there, tons of interesting American revolutionary history."

"And..." Although Grissom had varied interests, she sensed there was something even more appealing to him at that location.

With some excitement he added, "Sara, it's got Bush Gardens."

Now she understood. "Roller coasters. Okay, I'll try it, _for you_." She'd never been much of a thrill ride person but she sensed it was time to explore and stretch her wings. Life was providing a fresh start for her and she intended to take full advantage of it.

Grissom was thinking aloud, "But that sounds like a long time away and it involves work, how about a real vacation?" Although Sara had been off for almost a week, he was aware that counseling sessions weren't very restful.

"Use my vacation time? I don't know, I don't know what to do with myself during off hours, more or less a real vacation. Even with the counseling this week, I'm going a little nuts. It's not very relaxing." She frowned.

Grissom cleared his throat. She'd misunderstood him. He emphasized, "I meant with me."

Oh. I've never done that before. Taken a real vacation or gone on one with a lover. That could be fun.

She grinned happily. "Now that's a different story. What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, I'm not good at this stuff myself. Most of my trips have involved business. I guess we could get a cabin at Lake Mead and just enjoy each other's company."

"I like the sound of that. I'm sure we could amuse ourselves." She licked her lips suggestively as she playfully massaged his chest.

He had another idea. "Or we could go on a real trip. Go to Mexico. There's lots of fascinating history there – Mayan ruins and pyramids."

She knowingly added, "And exotic bugs."

"Well, that too," he admitted.

Sara warned him, "Just so you know, I'm not bringing home any insects in my suitcase."

He didn't take her seriously, "Sure you will."

"I'm not changing my mind." She held firm.

"We'll see about that," he teased.

What have I gotten myself into?

Still, Sara was starting to get caught up in the planning. "Can we do room service? That always sounded like fun. That way we don't have to wear any clothes if we don't want to."

The expression on Grissom's face was priceless, clearly revealing that the idea was extremely appealing to him. "_For you_, yes."

"When do you want to go?"

More seriously he replied, "How about after you speak with your counselor about the rape?"

Talk about motivation.

"You bet." She agreed enthusiastically. "Maybe I can do some research in the next day or two, since I'm on leave. I'll check out some possibilities then we can make a decision."

"That sounds good," Grissom replied. "I'd like to spend some more time close to you before we're back at work together."

"Oh, you mean you can't keep your hands off me?" Sara teased.

"Yes." He responded as he bent over to silence her with a kiss.

After they parted, Sara asked with some concern, "Do you think that will be a problem at work?"

Grissom smiled, "Only if we don't get enough time alone together."

"I think we can arrange to be together as much as possible," she responded. The idea was appealing to her as well.

Changing the subject, Grissom asked, "Sara, why did you come to Vegas?" He asked again, because he didn't think she'd been completely honest with him earlier. Or herself.

She hesitated, knowing he suspected the truth. She was half-ashamed to admit that a career driven woman like herself had done it. Sure it was a great job opportunity. But logic hadn't influenced her decision.

"You know why, I did it for you."

THE END


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